My Personal Journey With Microsoft Word
By Julia Cox, Writing Consultant
Amid the emotional maelstrom of my third grade year—which
included maddening multiplication tables, a painful introduction to cursive
writing, and one truly subpar season of TV’s Friends—I met Microsoft Word.
Greeted by the exuberant paperclip assistant “Clippy” (a 1990s
animation retired after Windows 95), I knew my days of handwritten assignments
and crayon embellishments were coming to an end. I had to pick myself up by the fuchsia overall
strap and soldier on—into the territory of word processing.
Microsoft Word has been my fair-weather companion for over 15
years now. Even though I grew up with the program, it still manages to throw me
a curve ball at the worst of moments. To
possibly lend some support, or maybe just tell a fellow sufferer’s tale, I have
enumerated a top 5 list of MS Word annoyances.
Clippy |
Top 5 Microsoft Word Grievances
5. (Lack of) font choice. There many
options, but only a few are accepted in academic settings (Times New Roman,
Cambria, etc). Take it from me—Monotype Corsiva will not impress
your instructors as a creative flourish.
4. Page numbering. In most style guides
(APA included), the cover page is not supposed to be numbered. Yet Microsoft
Word is fiercely committed to numbering that page. I’ve learned this issue can be circumvented
in the options menu, or through a section break.
3. Grammar check. In my opinion, this tool
does more harm than good, as its presets don’t always match with Standard
Written English.
2. File formats. Somewhere around 2008,
Microsoft decided the file extension .doc wasn’t cool enough and invented .docx. .Docx literally does not compute on older
machines. You can still save in .doc on new computers, but you have to select
from a drop down box.
1. Autocorrect. Way before smartphone texting, Microsoft Word
implemented a little tool called Autocorrect, the Pandora’s Box of diction
disasters. A psychological journey is not the same as a physiological journey,
and cheetah does not equal Cheeto. (Even more saddening: specialized nouns like
Cheeto only get into your Word
dictionary if you enter them. A sampling of other words I’ve added over the
years: iPhone, Pizza Hut, and Beyoncé.)
I’m sure many of you, like me, have encountered all of these
grievances. Perhaps the most depressing truth surrounding Microsoft Word is the
impossibility of escape. Even if you buy a Mac, you will only encounter a
slightly modified foe: Word for Mac.
Ultimately, it’s best to just accept the reality that
Microsoft Word will be a persistent, addling companion until your diploma is on
the wall. Luckily, the Writing Center
has put together some tips
for taming the beast. You can also check out official Microsoft troubleshooting
tips here.
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