When I was in my MA program, I felt like a complete fraud. I
was convinced I’d been accepted by mistake. There was no way I was smart enough
to be in a graduate program. Eventually I opened up to some people in my
program and found a bit of relief in the fact that they felt similarly
fraudulent. I was even more relieved when I found out there was a name for my
experience: impostor syndrome.
The term “impostor syndrome” is credited to Dr. Pauline
Clance and Dr. Suzanne Imes from their 1978 article “The impostor phenomenon in high achieving women.” It is generally understood to be a psychological state
wherein the individual believes all their success should be attributed to
someone else and/or all of their failures are their own fault entirely. One of
the best ways to combat impostor syndrome is to recognize it as a common
experience. This method is so effective that I recognized it in a character
from one of my favorite series.
Unlike most of my peers, I didn’t start reading the Harry Potter series until I was in college. I bought the first book at the airport on
my flight home after my freshman year. Maybe this is why when I relate to
Harry’s trials and experiences, I relate to them as an adult rather than an
11-year-old.
For instance, I recently had an epiphany regarding impostor
syndrome and the Hat-Sorting-Ceremony that takes place when Harry first arrives
at Hogwarts. For those unfamiliar with the story, Harry had just learned that
most of the followers of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named supposedly came from
Slytherin House. As a result, Harry’s only concern is that he not be placed in
Slytherin. The Sorting Hat, however, isn’t quite set on where Harry belongs; it
tells Harry that he has many qualities that would serve him well as a
Slytherin. Eventually the Hat concedes to Harry’s wish and places him in
Gryffindor.
Despite his general satisfaction with the placement, Harry
is haunted by the thought that he does not belong in Gryffindor, that in
listening to his pleas, the Hat made a mistake. In the second book, Harry asks
the Hat directly if he should have been placed in Slytherin. The Hat maintains
that Harry would have done well in Slytherin House, but concludes that it still
agrees with its decision. It’s not until the very end of the final book that
readers see Harry as confident in his identity as a Gryffindor.
Choice vs. Destiny is a popular theme throughout the Harry
Potter books. In The Chamber of Secrets Dumbledore says, “It is our choices,
Harry, that show who we truly are, far more than our abilities.” And he repeats
this sentiment in The Goblet of Fire: “You fail to recognize that it matters
not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!” Dumbeldore’s point is that
each time Harry chooses to fight Voldemort rather than join him, Harry
solidifies his identity.
Similarly, each time I choose to be a writer, each day
I give myself time to write, I’m solidifying my identity as a writer. And if
Harry can defeat a semi-immortal wizard who's got an army of supporters, I
figure I can probably keep working on my dissertation.
Harry is proud to be a Gryffindor. We can be proud to be
writers.
Kacy Walz is a Minnesota native currently living in St. Louis, MO. She has been a Writing Instructor at Walden since 2016 and spends most of her free time trying to complete her PhD, seeking out adventure, and playing with her puppy dog.
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