When Am I I and When Am I Me?

By Brian Timmerman, Manager of Writing Tutoring Services







I hate me. There. I said it. And before you even think about referring me to Dr. Drew, let me stress: I mean using the word me, not me personally. I’m awesome.

“My boss asked her and me to review the report.”
“Let Dave or me know if you need anything.”
“My grandmother gave my sister and me a plant.”

If you’re like me, saying anything resembling the above probably makes you feel like Cookie Monster as soon as it comes out of your mouth. And that’s why I hate it. You might well have just said, “Me hungry” or “Me like shiny.” The use of me just doesn’t sound right (although, grammatically speaking, the use of me in all three instances is 100% correct).

So, when do you use me (instead of the far more sophisticated-sounding I)? Well, that’s actually kind of simple, and it’s all about being selfish. Let’s break down those sentences, making them all about me.

“My boss asked her and me to review the report.”
“Let Dave or me know if you need anything.”
“My grandmother gave my sister and me a plant.”

Now, those . . . those sound good, right? You would never say, “My boss asked I to review the report.” And that alone lets you know that me is, in fact, correct.

OK, OK, OK, but when do you use I?

Well, that’s pretty easy, too. Just be selfish. Change “My wife and me need to get groceries” to “My wife and me need to get groceries,” and it’s pretty clear that you should use I: “I need to get groceries” or rather, “My wife and I need to get groceries.”

Now, as with most tricks, there is an exception. Let’s say you have a sentence with the verbs are or were:

“Beth and I are going to Italy.”
“Beth and I were in Brussels.”

If I break the first one down, I’d have “Beth and I are going to Italy,” but me, of course, doesn’t work either: “Beth and me are going to Italy.” In these instances, the tie always goes to I.

“Beth and I are going to Italy.”

And good for I, I say. I hate me.