Writer’s Workshop #3: Cut It Out!

By Hillary Wentworth, Writing Consultant

I admit it. I’m one of those people who delays cleaning just to see the great pile of dust I can sweep up with my broom. I also compile long to-do lists just to strike things off. It’s that satisfying swipe of getting things done. Are you with me?

I approach my own writing with the same philosophy: write it all out in glorious, long sentences, and then rip it to shreds. Some of us write with such delicacy and heart that we become too close to the material. We write a paragraph and it becomes our baby, our friend; we cannot see it any other way. My suggestion, though, is to view the paper analytically, like a scientist. In fact, pretend it’s someone else’s writing entirely.

To achieve this sense of detachment you might need to write a paper and then forget about it for a day or two. Then, when you have your scientist cap on, sit down at your desk and read. If you have access to a printer, flip through the physical pages and grab a pen to cross out words. If you don’t own a printer, read on the computer with the Track Changes button engaged. When you delete a word, a strikethrough line will appear. See how many extra words you can remove.

This process is a way to pare down your writing and to practice what APA calls economy of expression.  We use so many words in everyday life, in casual writing and conversation, that do not need to be in a scholarly paper. Here are just a few of my pet peeves:

• The phrase Due to the fact that
• Simply because can suffice in this situation.
• The sentence structure There are / There is
• I originally had this phrase in the above paragraph: There are so many words we use in everyday life. Then I streamlined it to simply We use so many… See how it’s better now?
• Repetitive ideas, information, wording
• Example: At J. Ackerman Elementary School in Kansas, fifth-grade students must complete two final reading assessments to pass the fifth grade.
• Synonyms
• Example: People’s personality traits and characteristics contribute to their ability to perform research.

You might find that whole sentences will say basically the same thing. Go ahead, then, cross out that second sentence. It doesn’t have to be emotional.

And now: A Cutthroat Challenge!

Read through the following paragraph and see how many words you can cut while retaining the author’s ideas. Then give the new word count in a comment so we can challenge each other. Good luck!

• Mooney (2009) defined emotional intelligence as the ability to understand the emotions of self and others and use that understanding to inspire others towards successful thinking and behavior.  Traditional educators, theorists, and researchers have shied away from the thought of emotions due to the fact that emotions have long been associated with weakness and subjectivity towards research.  However, Simpson and Vasquez (2010) stated that emotional intelligence helps to enhance cognitive intelligence by helping with reasoning.  While many scholars believe that emotions are chaotic, frenzied, and irrational, emotions serve as important signals to the brain. There are many signals that emotions are linked with: stress, depression, and tiredness.  

• Original word count: 107

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