In Regards to Utilizing Formal-Sounding Words Within the Capstone Project

By Tim McIndoo, Dissertation Editor

It’s true. The dissertation, doctoral study, and project study are all very serious, highly formal pieces of writing. It makes sense that they sound no less serious and formal than the thousands of pages of articles and books out of which they grow.

But the gravity of a piece of writing—as perceived by a given reader—comes not from mere formal-sounding words or phrases, but from the writer’s analytical insight, research skills, and mastery of the subject matter.

Here are three words and one phrase that many writers tend to utilize incorrectly: utilize, within, upon, and relative to/in regards to. Don’t get me wrong: There is nothing inherently incorrect with any of them. But their utilization needs to be based upon the audience and the meaning within a given sentence. One style does not fit all.

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Now, have another look at the previous paragraph. Can you see (and hear) the problematic words? (I have underlined them.)

Here are three words (and one phrase) that writers tend to utilize incorrectly: utilize, within, upon, and relative to/in regards to. Don’t get me wrong: There is nothing inherently incorrect with any of them. But their utilization needs to be based upon the audience and the meaning within a given sentence. One style does not fit all.

The same problems appear in the title too:

In Regards to Utilizing Formal-Sounding Words Within the Capstone Project

The problem is this: misunderstanding scholarly style or tone and presuming that gravity or seriousness is the result of seemingly formal-sounding words (or the number of letters used). The result tends to be overblown or verbose prose. Readers quickly sense this—even if they can't pinpoint it or name it—and may feel put off by the writing. The words don’t sound right and readers may lose confidence in the content.

Here’s an explanation of these four problems along with recommended changes:

utilize vs. use
The meaning of utilize typically shades into “make use of”; the simple word use is preferred. Short and simple words do not diminish your work or writing; in fact, their clarity tends to elevate.

within vs. in
The meaning of within is more specific than in; it generally means a specific location or "inside of." Thus, in is often sufficient.

upon vs. on
The meaning of upon and on is essentially the same. However, upon has a poetic sense to it that just doesn’t fit with social science research. Hence, the simple on is often the better choice.

relative to/in regard(s) to/concerning vs. on/about
The language of business often has a bureaucratic tone, whereas the tone of social science research is generally neutral. That way, the language doesn’t get in the way of meaning. So rather than use phrases whose tone doesn’t fit the audience (and may yield to indirect, long, or wordy sentences), use the simple about or on. They do the same work with neutrality—and with a fraction of the letters.

With those differences in mind, look at this revised version of the problem paragraph above:

Here are three words (and one phrase) that writers tend to use incorrectly: utilize, within, upon, and relative to/in regards to. Don’t get me wrong: There is nothing inherently incorrect with any of them. But their use needs to be based on the audience and the meaning in a given sentence. One style does not fit all.

And a revised title would read

On Using Formal-Sounding Words in the Capstone Project

Notice that these revisions are smoother, simpler, and easier to read. While tone does not generally affect a study’s data or conclusions, it can show that you know your audience and that you're a member of the same club.