To Be or Not to Be?

By Lydia Lunning, Dissertation Editor

Let’s say I have to revise the following passage:

There are many reasons to take the process of revision seriously. Not only is revision important because the final product will be much better than the original draft, it is also a way for a writer to think through and clarify ideas. A writer’s understanding of his or her topic is often deeper and more refined after there has been effort to rethink and rewrite troublesome sections.

That’s fine, right? There isn’t anything really wrong with it—subject-verb agreement, not a lot of passive voice, no glaring mechanical errors—but it’s still just a bit…static. The ideas are all there, but I want this passage to be more active, more dynamic. How am I supposed to liven up this wording?

As you become a more sophisticated writer and develop your scholarly voice, revising means improving your style, not just removing problems and errors. Experienced writers develop an active, engaging style in part by paying attention to how often they use forms of the verb to be. These forms include am, is, are, was, were, be, being, and been.

This doesn’t mean we’re supposed to crack open a thesaurus and replace every is with a fancy, three-syllable verb; even when writing at an advanced level, our words should flow naturally and in our own voice. However, we should strive to use to be in moderation.

The verb to be indicates that a thing exists, but not what that thing does or how it relates to anything else in the sentence; using to be too often in your writing is a bit like having a conversation with a friend in which you point at a lot of different things but never explain how those things relate to one another: “This is a leash, there is my dog, and that is the park down the street.” OK . . ., your friend thinks, but so what? All those statements may be true and grammatically correct, but see how much clearer and more active the sentence becomes when we replace all those to bes: “Let’s put a leash on my dog and walk to the park down the street.”

Along with indicating existence, the verb to be also acts as a linking verb in a sentence (kind of like an equals sign): The apple is red, they were loud, she had been up early, he could be easily convinced. All these sentences are grammatically correct, too, but there still isn’t a lot of action going on. Rather than showing action, linking verbs connect the subject of a sentence to more information or further description about that subject. In this example, the apple isn’t doing anything—it’s just being red.

To get an idea of how you use these verbs in your own writing, take a look at something you’ve written and circle the number of times a form of to be appears on a single page. (The first time I tried this on one of my own drafts, I was in for a rude awakening—to be verbs appeared on almost every line!) If you go through the above passage again, you’ll notice that forms of to be (are, is, will be, has been) occur no less than six times in only three sentences. If I want to perk up this passage, I should try to replace at least some of those with action verbs instead.

An action verb is just that—a verb that expresses a specific action. These verbs invigorate your writing and add life to your sentences by making the subjects actually do things. Action verbs also vary much more than linking verbs, so expressing ideas through action verbs allows you to present your thoughts with greater specificity and precision.

If I wanted to rework my original passage to include more action verbs and fewer to be verbs, it would look something like this:

Writers should take the revision process seriously for many reasons. Revision not only ensures the final product improves on the original draft, it also allows a writer the opportunity to think through and clarify ideas. A writer’s understanding of his or her topic often deepens and grows more refined after he or she has rethought and rewritten troublesome sections.

This version includes more active sentences and conveys the same ideas in fewer words. (You will find that replacing a few to be verbs will streamline your writing and clear away some of the clutter in longer sentences.) The changes also don’t interrupt the natural flow of language by inserting overly complicated phrases or unfamiliar vocabulary. An easy fix, right?

As you read over your own work, keep an eye out for how often you use the verb to be in your sentences. Once you get in the habit of using more precise verbs and writing more active sentences, you’ll find you begin to sound more like the developing scholar that you are.

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